Marriage Is What Brings Us Together Today

This is just a possible topic. I wasn't really sure what to write about.


Anyone who attends or has attended BYU knows of the intense pressure to get married. Young marriage is a cultural characteristic of Mormons in general. Yes, we are commanded to “multiply and replenish the earth,” but it’s ok to finish college first.

In the short time I have been here at BYU I have heard numerous accounts of dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage all happening within six months of two people meeting. Are people so desperate or so afraid that they won’t get married that they rush off once they think there is a slight chance that maybe it might work out somehow if they just give it the old college try? Or perhaps our high moral standards, which are great, lead to quick engagements and hasty marriage so as to avoid those troublesome temptations that come with being close to someone for a long time. No matter what the reason, this matter deserves a little more thought.

Marriage is a big deal, especially for members of the LDS faith. It is a long term commitment: long term meaning FOREVER. In addition, divorce is accepted, but highly frowned upon among the saints. So why would you marry someone who you have known for such a short amount of time?

As the fifth child of seven, I have been able to learn a lot from the examples of my older siblings. Two of my siblings made the unfortunate choice of marrying someone they did not know for very long. The results were detrimental, especially where children were involved. It caused so much unnecessary heartache that could have been avoided had they decided to wait to see how well they knew the person they were making this huge commitment with.

I am not saying that any fast paced relationship won’t work out, but what harm is there in keeping courtships a little longer and getting to know the person a little better? If you think it will increase you chance of breaking up, that should be an indicator that maybe you shouldn’t get married. If he or she is thinking about marrying you, they should still feel that way a couple months later, and if not, you may have saved yourself the pain of marital problems later.

If you are thinking about getting married, please, please, PLEASE try to make a fair assessment of your situation. You are in love and that factor can make it hard to see clearly sometimes. How long have you known your special someone? Have you talked to someone who lives with them to see if there are any big or little habits that would be unacceptable to you as a long term companion? Have you met his/her family or has he/she met your family? Have you counseled together about what you want to do or what your plans are for life? Have you been completely honest with your companion about everything, including things that have happened in your past and do you feel he/she has been completely honest with you? Is your relationship primarily physical? If so have you tried to see if you can still have conversation and enjoy each other’s company without being physical for a week? If you can look at all of these questions and make a good assessment, you are well on your way to what may be a happy relationship. If there are some problems, you may want to take things easy for awhile.

You may be saying, “Who are you to tell me when to get married?” The truth is I’m not anyone special. I do believe that marriage is something important and sacred and should not be taken lightly. Rushing into something so monumental can be a big mistake and can have incredible consequences for those involved. Take this matter seriously.